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Ten silly things a smart parent cannot do
http://bardagim.com Time: 2010-11-22 17:41:00 Source: Sina Education
Recently, articles about the success or failure of children as parental responsibilities are overwhelming. Is it really the fault of parents?
Children's requirements are getting higher and higher, how to be a smart mother? Sohu mother and baby list 10 things that smart mothers should not do, big
Family seated right to see if they are good at understanding and understanding the true needs of their children, and whether they can "advance with the times."
1. Always ask me "Auntie, or mother?"
As employment competition intensifies, more and more mothers are entrusting their children's daily care to a nanny. The extreme example is
I can't see my child for two days a week. But finding that the child is emotionally dependent on the babysitter can't help but burn with jealousy. In front of the child
Picky about nanny behavior, or asking children to make a choice: "Is it a mother or an aunt?"
The son was too "sticky" to the nanny, and he successively changed four babysitters to fight for the "emotional ownership" of the child.
It is particularly timid, afraid of darkness, and insecure.
Opinion: No matter how dedicated a nanny is, it cannot replace the role of mothers in the growth of children. No matter how busy a mother is,
Contact the child for 45 minutes to an hour every day. At this time, the mother should turn off the mobile phone and immerse herself in the pure
In a real environment. You should know that parent-child interaction not only benefits children, but also mothers-it allows you to experience removing masks, true colors
Show people happiness.
2. Always say that I'm not as good as the child next door
Ten mothers and eight strange circles who can't escape the comparison, from whose children are white and tall, to whose children can recite Tang and Song
Words; from whose children passed the piano level 8, to whose children's calligraphy have been exhibited in Japan ... mothers bit their ears together and returned
Come to see their own cowardly and ordinary children, it is inevitable to be anxious and anxious. 6-year-old He Tong is very upset that he is upstairs
There is such a "model": at 6:30 in the morning, the little girl upstairs is already singing English songs; at 10 in the evening, the piano practice upstairs
The etiquette is still playing tirelessly. It is also 6 years old. It is also a child of a university teacher. How can someone ’s daughter be better than my family?
Many sons? When mother urged her son, she couldn't help sighing: I just want a good daughter. 6
One year old He Tong finally choked up the chattering mother one day: "You want Wang Jing upstairs to be a daughter, and I want upstairs
Wang Jing ’s mother is a mother. Wang Jing ’s mother is more beautiful than you, more knowledgeable than you! "Mother's face couldn't help turning pale.
Viewpoint: It can be said that the mother who loves comparisons has an infatuation that hopes to become a child and a daughter to a child. It is precisely because Shen Mian is an unrealistic illusion about her children's future that she becomes a perfectionist. However, while comparing and attacking the child's habit, fundamentally, it is slowly destroying the child's self-confidence. You need to know that the growth motivation of children comes from the psychological self-affirmation. Children who lack self-confidence will eventually lose their confidence and do nothing.
In addition, the demand for comparison will also make young children feel insecure. If a child under 4 years old always hears his mother say that he is inferior to a child of a neighbor or a colleague, the psychological pressure will increase and there will be a panic of being abandoned. When the child grows up and realizes that he no longer agrees with his mother, and the mother can no longer abandon himself, the upward motivation will disappear, and the child will become tired at this time, and no criticism can touch him. Even, he will ironic his mother "is not as beautiful and learned as the mother of a certain classmate". At this point, as a mother, how will you face this awkward situation?
3. Always say "this is not allowed, that is also dangerous"
Naturally sensitive mothers are particularly prone to repeatedly reminding and nagging about their children's safety issues. 6-year-old Meng Meng is a typical example: if her mother is not off work, she can only stay at home with a nanny and watch TV instead of going "crazy" in the compound. Mom always scares her with examples of children being kidnapped or disabled in the newspapers due to child trafficking or inadequate care. Over time, Mengmeng becomes a complete "TV child". When she meets a stranger, she does n’t even say hello. It was like walking into a small room like a mouse, but it didn't come out for a long time.
Viewpoints: In the eyes of mothers who provide overprotection to their children, children lack the instinct to protect themselves, and it is necessary for parents to hold up their umbrellas. She will not think of her words and deeds, which will create the illusion that the world is a trap everywhere. It will eventually make the child have a very extreme personality. It is likely that he will become a daring teenager. The more you say that it is a forbidden fruit, the more he thinks it may be delicious. This is quite dangerous.